Calla's Seventieth Post

This is a really funny joke I need to share with you. My brother told it to me. He made it up to be NOT funny. But he failed miserably. *ahem*

A bear walks into a bar, and the bar tender says, "Free drinks on me!" Then the bear threw nuts in his face and walked away.

I almost died laughing and knew it was unfair to keep this greatness to myself.

Love,
Calla and the kitties. (see picture in the post below for the kitties and the orange.)

Calla's Twenty-Sixth Post

I am not so good at being so very social. This may come as a surprise as I do not shut up if I am ever around you. Also, I am fairly friendly and will talk to anyone about small-talk one on one. But, I am not so very good at going to large groups for socializing purposes. Even one-on-one lots of people make me uncomfortable for various reasons–– either they are stupid, or they think I am stupid, or they don't understand silliness, or they don't understand seriousness, or they don't like kitties, or they don't respect my opinions about social issues, or they choose not to understand my opinions about social issues (this is a big one. Lots of people do this), or they use the word "gay" as a synonym for stupid (or something equally offensive like that), or they think I'm amoral, or I think they're immoral, or they are just this specific personality type that I can't describe in so many words suffice to say they are not content with any aspect of life but not because they are aware of all of the injustice in the world or anything like that, but because they are searching for some abstract notion of fulfilment instead of just getting fulfilled. So, see, I am not so good at being very social. I am good at being social with Tabby, which is why I live with him and am in love with him and what not. I am good at being social with Audrey and Christina because I've known them sense I was a kid. I am good at being social with Leo because he is a weirdo like me. I am good at being social with Chelsea because she is also a weirdo. I am good at being social with my homeless friend who wears a blue sweatshirt because I only ever have to talk to him for five minutes at a time and he's not one of those annoying types mentioned above–– however, notice I am not good enough at being social to know his name. I am good at being social with almost anyone with whom I had to work because if you're with someone enough hours of the day then they just see how you are anyway so there's really no point in not being good at being social. I am good at being social with my sister and her children because I love them the bestest. I am not so good at being social with one of my brothers and I am just ok at being social with the other one (the one who made the FUNNY PICTURE!!!! when he was in eighth grade.) I am dreadfully awful at being social with my mother because the only interest we share is kitty-meow-faces. Other than that we have nothing in common. With my father I am ok at being social like how I am with my one brother. With Tabby's parents I am pretty ok at it as long as I am not in a bad mood, because if I am in a bad mood, Tabby's dad will make my mood worse. This was a list for your reading pleasure. Probably there are other people with whom I am good at being social, but for some reason they are NOT ON THE LIST!? SORRY FRIENDS. Mostly I am ok one-on-one.


(She is saying "hello, will you play with me?"
And he is saying "no because I am an old man
it is scary when you chase me!")

So, anyway the other day I had a dejá vu. (Is that how you spell it?) I get them sometimes a lot, but never write them down, so now I am going to start writing them down. This one is from the class Theory and Practice of Nonprofit Management. We were discussing in small groups some questionable marketing situations. My group was talking about when Mattel offered to make a girl scout barbie doll. (Which is oh so wrong, on oh so many levels. Probably I needn't list them.) So then this is how the dejá vu went: Someone in my group asked a question about merit badges in girl scouts and that is when the dejá vu started, and then the rest of us didn't know about the badges and then someone else asked if when a girl got a merit badge if she would get a badge for her Barbie doll too, like a little tiny badge, and no one knew the answer and then the prof. said to come back together and that is how it ended, the professor broke it up. Do you know I love run-on sentences sometimes? Maybe I already said that before.

BYE!!!

Love,
Calla and her kitties

Calla's Third Post

I am not lying about the Ghost Bands. . . (That is what this post should be titled. Instead it is titled Calla's Third Post.)

So really, I thought you might like to know about the Ghost bands. . . (Not that there is a you since no one reads this.) John Allison made the ghost band. The ghosts are orange and they sing about stealing ambulances and crashing them into lakes. One of them looks depressingly sad in a humorous sort of way. I am not lying. This is all for real. You can even ask John himself. John@scarygoround.com is his e-mail address. Basically this ghost band is one of three things that are the funniest things ever. I will break out in hysterics when I see this orange band on my dark green shirt.

I will also laugh a lot a lot a lot from something I once read on wikipedia. Since wikipedia is all the time edited, I saved this sentence from it in a text edit titled "funny like a ghost band" so that it would always be safe. This is what it says: This was the first game created by Bradley, a successful lithographer, whose major product until that time was a portrait of Abraham Lincoln with a clean shaven face, which did not do very well once the subject grew his now-famous beard. Right now I am laughing so hard. Oh my Oh my Oh my. That is the strangest sentence!! AH I love it! It is in reference to (ASIDE: Tabby is telling me to stop laughing. He gets annoyed when I laugh like this unstoppable.) the Game of Life.

The third thing that is funny is lost forever. It is a picture my younger brother drew when we was in eighth grade. It is supposed to be a business card for his occupation as a painter. (ASIDE: This SAVES ALL THE TIME. WOW!) He had to do it for art class. Basically it is a picture of what appears to be a short man of Mexican heritage with the words "Tu Necesitas Un Pintor?" "Yo Soy Pintor!" The man in the picture was wearing an oversized sombrero. As I think about it now, maybe he wasn't short. He just looked short in his giant giant hat. Basically that is beside the point. The point is I pictured a midget running around on the street pulling at people's shirts to get their attentions and yelling, "Tu necesitas un pintor!? YO SOY PINTOR!" –– yelling like he was a superhero or something unfathomably amazing like that. Seriously. . . this picture made no sense. For years to come my brother only had to do so much as look at me, raise a fist in the air, and calmly say, "I am painter" for me to lose it. I don't know where the picture is. . . but man that memory is thoroughly great.

Hmmm. . . what else? Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is full of highly entertaining songs. You should watch it on the internet.

Love, Calla and YES MY KITTIES ARE BOTH IN THE ROOM!!

This picture is funny too! She's saying, "Get your butt outa my face please!!!"











SURPRISE!!!!! This is what the ghost band looks like. . . Look at the sad frowny-face on the left!!